Tithing and Tale of an Ungrateful Lover

“I’m going to give ten percent of what I earn in the future to the church.” I can’t say how for sure, but one way or another my friends and I had slowly shifted our conversation towards finances. Between Christians and non-Christians, tithing is definitely murky waters lying between us.

My high school friends highly respect my beliefs and practices, despite often times being unable to understand the rationale behind what I do. “I see… I wouldn’t give that much though,” is a response heavily saturated with values that tithing attempts to eliminate. “I don’t trust people with that money.”

Their doubts are warranted. While I can’t say I’ve known one, I’m sure there are churches that scam individuals of their money so the staff members of the church can live lavishly. Who would want their money to go to a poor and selfish cause?

I stay silent in response to my friends’ doubts. This would be an optimal moment to quote bible verses on tithing, but none seem to come to mind. Instead, an old folktale from the Ming dynasty slowly drifts into my train of thought.

Song Maocheng’s “Tale of an Ungrateful Lover” tells of a drifting scholar who has exhausted much of his funds away from home and unwisely spending them on women’s quarters full of courtesans. There, he meets and falls in love with one courtesan who bears talents of singing and dancing, and exudes beauty beyond comparison.

After much difficulty, the scholar is able to amass enough wealth to buy the courtesan’s leave from the women’s quarters (mostly paid for by the courtesan herself). They live frugally yet joyfully, passing through mountains and valleys before stopping to rent a boat to sail across the river the next day to get married. Up until then, they have travelled in solitude and away from contact with other individuals.

While enjoying a leisurely boat ride together, the woman sings. Her beautiful voice enchants every creature around them, including a merchant sailing along the river as well. He is captivated and vows to obtain the woman for himself.

The merchant finds the poor scholar, and the two of them take to chatting in a wine house on the bank. The scholar tells the merchant of their story, and seeing the opportunity, the merchant plays on their poverty to convince the scholar to hand his fiancé to the merchant. The fiancé, he says, being so beautiful and talented, would easily be swayed to another lover, leaving the scholar in poor solitude. Would it not be wise to hand her over to the merchant, in return for a thousand taels that the scholar can use to finally return home to his parents?

Troubled, the scholar decides to withhold from making a decision and confront his lover on the matter. Through tearful eyes, he tells her everything he has considered and the dilemma of making a decision.

“Wonderful!” she exclaims. “We both benefit from this proposal. You can get the money to return home to your parents, and I will gain myself a new man. The merchant is a true genius! Let me put on my make-up and wealthiest attire to great the merchant tomorrow morning, and I will depart with him after you have gained the money promised you.”

Everything was carried out the next morning as arranged. The merchant gave the scholar exactly a thousand taels as promised, and the fiancé prepared for her departure. Before leaving, she implored the scholar to give her the top drawer of her make-up case.

She opened it, and inside laid the most lavish and beautiful garments adorned with emerald-colored feathers. Hastily, she dumped all the contents into the river. The scholar and merchant were shocked speechless.

She removed the second drawer, and inside were jewelry and precious jade along with golden musical instruments. This too she threw into the waters. She removed a leather purse from the case full of antique jades and ancient gold objects, and likewise, she bitterly threw them into the river. Finally, she took out the last drawer full of rare, “night-glowing” pearls. Despite the restraining cries of the scholar, merchant, and crowd that had begun to gather along the bank, she tossed them away as well.

She cried out against the merchant. “You greedy man. You heard one song, and then so readily turned to tear apart our love. I wish I were stronger to take a knife and kill a vulgar person like you! Are you no different from a mad dog? You tried to use wealth to seize me into your embrace. I have saved up every bit of wealth that was given to me by my sisters in the women’s quarters. I was going to use them to pay for the scholar’s travels back home to his parents. I have thrown them away to show how blind he is! I have cried so many times for him, yet he has abandoned me before we were even married. Now he is greedy, and my sorrow is great.” With her last pearls in hand, the courtesan threw herself into the water and drowned.

Ashamed, the merchant and scholar quickly ran away, escaping the hands of the townspeople who, full of loathe and disgust, yearned to rid of them.

This story isn’t a parable. It wasn’t told by Paul or an Old Testament prophet. Yet it does reflect the nature and purpose behind the law of tithing.

Let’s say we were the scholar, travelling beyond the influence of the world and worldly values. We live frugally yet joyfully while fervently in love with the Lord. Like the courtesan, we do not hold fast to our wealth but rather use it out of a method of loving others and in service.

Fast forward and we slowly are exposed to the world and its sin and values. And this is where we hit the fork in the road. This is where we must ask, are we like the courtesan or do we act like the scholar?

I will be the first to admit that I behave like the scholar more often than not. I recognize the importance of wealth and how much and far it can get you in the world. I know that much of what I depend on and much of what I enjoy is accessible because of wealth. And to be completely honest, I find myself wondering and daydreaming of a life where my wealth is in surplus and I don’t have to have financial worries plaguing my thoughts.

And so while I’m sitting on my own boat with my lover and Lord, I am vulnerable to the propositions of the merchant, who promises me access to my wants and daydreams. And slowly, I let go of my love and ultimate source of true joy for wealth.

I am no courtesan who will curse the tempter and strip herself of her unneeded wealth for love.

One of the goals of tithing is to remove this dependence on wealth and this intense and tempting desire for it so that our hearts can focus on our pure worship of God. Yes, ten percent can seem like a lot, but do we want to give up our love for a meager amount of taels or do we want to love purely and strongly and find that we have irreplaceable and immeasurable wealth stored away for us?